After a Fox News poll revealed that 51 percent of all Americans now support impeachment and removal of Trump, the AG, who also moonlights as Trump’s new fixer, was jettisoned to the New York estate of Fox’s owner Rupert Murdoch. While what happened behind closed doors is purely speculation and what HNOTC hypothesizes is fiction, our newsroom expert in political science and deviant behavior suggested that Barr most likely gave Rupert the paddle. Afterward, according to our top expert analyst, the two likely enjoyed some fine liqueur and tied up and whipped several sex slaves while sporting the most interesting S&M leather attire money can buy.
Trump Moves to Withdraw US Troops From Syria
Meanwhile, diehard Trump allies Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell are baffled as to why Trump would backstab the Kurds by withdrawing from Syria when it would only help Russia and Iran. They went on to suggest Trump was compromised by Putin and acting as an agent of a hostile foreign power. Both Lindsey and Mitch decided that enough is enough and are now vowing to convince their GOP colleagues in congress to impeach. Oh wait, the last section was news out of an alternate dimension where GOP members had balls.
Amber Guyger, Former Dallas Cop Who Killed Her Neighbor, Testifies
Amber was chilling, eating ice cream and sexting in what she believed was her crib before disaster struck. Moral of the story: Know which apartment is yours – especially when you’re packing heat and trigger happy.
Hourly News On The Can 