The market surged today on reports that the Trump stooge team reached a partial agreement in its ongoing trade war with China. After Trump announced the deal as “phase one” – leaving investors to wonder if the president is on crack – the DJIA promptly tanked 100 points. If it weren’t for the fact that there was literally less than five minutes left before the closing bell when the announcement was made, things could have got ugly. Meanwhile, money managers were reportedly celebrating today’s rally with cocktails poolside on the deck of the Titanic.