John Anderson Smith III Politics, U.S. News

Anonymous Trump Official to Publish Tell All Book

The author behind the infamous Times Trump insider Op-Ed is set to release a book titled “Warning” sometime in November. The author will again remain anonymous and reportedly waved off a lucrative book deal, preferring to instead donate book royalties to organizations focusing on government accountability.

I wonder, does the anonymous writer still work for Trump and if so, in what capacity? Is it Kellyanne? It’s interesting to note how she maintains a healthy relationship with her husband who has made a daily routine out of excoriating the president on Twitter. Maybe it’s the White House Chef or the Butler in the Library with the candlestick.

John Anderson Smith III Politics, U.S. News

Lindsey Graham Changes Tune on Trump’s Handling of Syria

After meeting with Trump on Saturday, Lindsey Graham totally reversed course on his criticism of Trump’s troop withdrawal of Syria, stating “President Trump is thinking outside the box.” Lindsey’s habit of pulling 180s on his views regarding Trump have most Americans wondering just how much dirt Trump has on him. It’s fair to say after this latest boomerang it’s probably something pretty damming and embarrassing. While the news crew here at HNOTC isn’t speculating it’s anything of the gay variety, our expert analyst on deviant behavior and political science wouldn’t rule out something along the lines of a sugar daddy setup with a younger lad from abroad and cuck fetish role playing.

John Anderson Smith III Politics, U.S. News

Giuliani About to be Arrested?

Trump distanced himself from his last fixer, Rudy Giuliani, (current fixer A.G. “Corrupt” Barr) after news broke that two people with solid links to Rudy were arrested on campaign finance charges. Trump stated today that he’s actually not sure if Rudy Rudy Rudy Ruuu-aaah still represents him. Haven’t we seen this movie before? It might seem like several decades ago since his most prolific fixer was sent off to prison, but it was only not long ago. Michael Cohen.

John Anderson Smith III Politics, U.S. News

Fox News Poll Angers Trump to Point of Tantrum

After a Fox News poll revealed that 51 percent of all Americans now support impeachment and removal of Trump, the AG, who also moonlights as Trump’s new fixer, was jettisoned to the New York estate of Fox’s owner Rupert Murdoch. While what happened behind closed doors is purely speculation and what HNOTC hypothesizes is fiction, our newsroom expert in political science and deviant behavior suggested that Barr most likely gave Rupert the paddle. Afterward, according to our top expert analyst, the two likely enjoyed some fine liqueur and tied up and whipped several sex slaves while sporting the most interesting S&M leather attire money can buy.

John Anderson Smith III U.S. News

Trump Moves to Withdraw US Troops From Syria

Meanwhile, diehard Trump allies Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell are baffled as to why Trump would backstab the Kurds by withdrawing from Syria when it would only help Russia and Iran. They went on to suggest Trump was compromised by Putin and acting as an agent of a hostile foreign power. Both Lindsey and Mitch decided that enough is enough and are now vowing to convince their GOP colleagues in congress to impeach. Oh wait, the last section was news out of an alternate dimension where GOP members had balls.