After a Fox News poll revealed that 51 percent of all Americans now support impeachment and removal of Trump, the AG, who also moonlights as Trump’s new fixer, was jettisoned to the New York estate of Fox’s owner Rupert Murdoch. While what happened behind closed doors is purely speculation and what HNOTC hypothesizes is fiction, our newsroom expert in political science and deviant behavior suggested that Barr most likely gave Rupert the paddle. Afterward, according to our top expert analyst, the two likely enjoyed some fine liqueur and tied up and whipped several sex slaves while sporting the most interesting S&M leather attire money can buy.
NFL Update Week 5
The Cowboys lost.
Trump Moves to Withdraw US Troops From Syria
Meanwhile, diehard Trump allies Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell are baffled as to why Trump would backstab the Kurds by withdrawing from Syria when it would only help Russia and Iran. They went on to suggest Trump was compromised by Putin and acting as an agent of a hostile foreign power. Both Lindsey and Mitch decided that enough is enough and are now vowing to convince their GOP colleagues in congress to impeach. Oh wait, the last section was news out of an alternate dimension where GOP members had balls.
Trump Calls For Civil War in Event of Impeachment and Calls For Political Foe Adam Schiff’s Arrest For Treason
Trump ended the sentence regarding Schiff’s arrest with a question mark, but one wonders if he meant to place an exclamation point, hyphen or apostrophe.
Rudy Rudy Rudy Ruu-ahhh
Hot off the press. This just in: Rudy Giuliani subpoenaed for documents related to the Ukraine scandal. Time to break out the popcorn yet?
NFL Update Week 4
Patriots won. Rams lost.
Lindsey Graham Hints at True Sexuality
“Keep fighting back. We have your back on this,” Graham replied. “I am openly telling everybody in the country, I have the president’s back because I think this is a setup” – Lindsey Graham has the president’s bareback.
State Department Resurrecting Probe Of Emails Sent by Former Hillary Clinton Aides
Corrupt AG Bill “Rotten” Barr is getting desperate.
Lindsey Graham reportedly has a war plan to guard Trump against impeachment
Translation: There’s evidence that Lindsey is a closeted gay and Trump has the dirt.
Film: Aniara
The best sci-fi flick since the original Solaris, Tarkovsky 1971. You don’t like the ending, then you don’t understand space. Available at the time of this post on Hulu.
Kurt D. Volker, the State Department’s special envoy for Ukraine abruptly resigns
Good move. One can only wonder if he’s packing his bags and getting on the next plane out of here.
Amber Guyger, Former Dallas Cop Who Killed Her Neighbor, Testifies
Amber was chilling, eating ice cream and sexting in what she believed was her crib before disaster struck. Moral of the story: Know which apartment is yours – especially when you’re packing heat and trigger happy.
Jeff Flake Says At least 35 Republican senators would impeach Trump if vote were private
This just in: Voting records to remain public and Republicans still have no balls.
House Dems Issue First Subpoena In Impeachment Inquiry
It’s Mike Pompeo and he’s screwed.
Hourly News On The Can 