Business – Hourly News On The Can

October 30, 2019October 30, 2019 John Anderson Smith III Business

Market Update 10/30

As a Halloween treat, the Fed spooked traders later in the session by predictably lowering rates by a quarter point while signaling a pause in future cuts. The Dow then dipped as traders clamored and whispered amongst themselves in self-pity, wondering how they can continue the magnificent bull run without the training wheels, pacifiers and diapers of quantitive easing. But have no fear, their orange whiner in chief will soon enough be lobbying on their behalf for the Fed to cut interest rates to negative zero.

This has been HNOTC reporting from the casino slot machines of the Titanic.

October 25, 2019 John Anderson Smith III Business

Market Update 10/25

Zzzzzzzz

October 25, 2019 John Anderson Smith III Business

Crypto Wire 10/25

After several months of trading flat, Bitcoin suffered a crash this week which had everyone screaming the end is nigh. However, the whales had a few tricks up their sleeves as always and pumped it back up today where it resides in the mid-8,000s. Percentage-wise, it was a strong move up and if this action continues, we could see a run past 10k by the end of this weekend. If it’s merely a fake out, then we could revisit the 7ks.

October 25, 2019October 25, 2019 John Anderson Smith III Business

Market Update 10/24

Tesla and Microsoft beat earnings before the bell and stocks were once again mixed with the Dow lagging and the Nasdaq leading. After the bell Amazon took a beating as it whiffed hard on earnings and then followed that up with poor guidance. This has been HNOTC reporting from the karaoke and disco lounge of the Titanic.

October 23, 2019 John Anderson Smith III Business, U.S. News

Move the Doomsday Clock Closer to Midnight

Move it a lot closer to midnight. Google announced today that it has built a quantum computer that can solve a problem in 200 seconds that would take the current fastest supercomputer on the planet 10,000 years to solve. That being said, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the unintended consequences of something so powerful connected to an artificial intelligence. “Alexa, are we cool?”

October 23, 2019 John Anderson Smith III Business

Market Update 10/22

Stocks were mixed today as McDonald’s missed on earnings. But come on?!? How surprising could that have been? The food is fake and it’s guaranteed to give you diarrhea! Boeing is still dropping as more bad news emerges regarding the Max. Somebody even got canned! It looks like the head of the commercial airplane unit. Hey, I heard there are plenty of openings over at the White House.

October 16, 2019 John Anderson Smith III Business

Market Update Wednesday 10/16

Stocks were essentially flat as retail sales unexpectedly declined and the banksters continued to beat on earnings for the week. After the bell Netflix clobbered earnings expectations, marking their last probable victorious stand in the streaming movie platform sector as Disney plans to go full Darth Vader on the competition.

October 15, 2019October 16, 2019 John Anderson Smith III Business

Market Update Tuesday 10/15

The U.S. president is on the verge of being impeached and possibly removed and the U.S. and world economy are spiraling toward recession, yet the market is continuing its bull run. This has been HNOTC reporting from first class seats on the Hindenburg.

October 11, 2019October 11, 2019 John Anderson Smith III Business

Trump Touts “Phase One” Trade Deal With China

The market surged today on reports that the Trump stooge team reached a partial agreement in its ongoing trade war with China. After Trump announced the deal as “phase one” – leaving investors to wonder if the president is on crack – the DJIA promptly tanked 100 points. If it weren’t for the fact that there was literally less than five minutes left before the closing bell when the announcement was made, things could have got ugly. Meanwhile, money managers were reportedly celebrating today’s rally with cocktails poolside on the deck of the Titanic.